


Flowers

by Beau_bie



Series: a place to stay [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Marauders, Modern Era, Out of Character, they have some things to work through
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:54:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27654406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beau_bie/pseuds/Beau_bie
Summary: The first time James buys Severus flowers.
Relationships: James Potter/Severus Snape
Series: a place to stay [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2021861
Comments: 3
Kudos: 76





	Flowers

Severus was exhausted. Working, studying and meeting the mortgage payments was quickly wearing him out. He just wanted to sleep, but he had meals to prepare for the next few days.

He was midway through the meal preparation when the doorbell rang. He sighed, walking over to the door and peering out through the peephole. He was pleasantly surprised to see James.

He opened the door. "Hello-" he froze upon seeing the flowers.

Why had James brought flowers? What had he done? Severus didn't have siblings so it wasn't like James was apologising for fucking his sister. 

James, apparently concerned by Severus' face, looked at the flowers. "Are you allergic?" he asked.

"No. I was just wondering what they were for," he admitted.

"Six month anniversary. Thought you'd expect something."

"Oh..." he said dumbly, taking the flowers and looking at them. "I didn't... I've been so busy..."

"I realised. Thought I could take you out for dinner, but if you're busy..."

"How about I make us dinner?" he suggested, grabbing a vase from the cupboard and filling it with water, adding a spoonful of sugar before placing the flowers in it.

"I would like that. To spend more time with you, that is," he smiled, bumping against Severus.

Severus raised a brow, looking at him. "Yes, that would be nice."

"Can I stay the night?"

Severus looked up at him. "I wanted to talk to you about that."

"Uh... you don't like me sleeping over?"

Severus rolled his eyes. " I want to ask you if you would like to move in with me, obviously."

James' mouth opened and closed a few times, as if he was a fish out of water, trying desperately to find the words.

"I'll let you think on it. You probably enjoy living with your parents."

"No, I don't need to think on it. I want to live with you. Can I?"

"I just asked you to move in. It's up to you whether you bring your belongings over or not," Severus said indifferently, but he was excited that James wanted to live with him. Hopefully it would help with finances too.

"I just can't believe you want me to move in."

"Why does that surprise you?"

James leaned on the counter. "I didn't think..." he looked down. "I wasn't sure if you..."

Severus passed James a glass of water. "What's the problem?"

"I'm the problem, aren't I?"

Severus raised a brow. "How so? I thought things were going well. Is this what the flowers are for? Did something actually happen?"

"No. No these are because it's our six months. I just thought..."

"Join me for a cigarette?"

"I don't smoke."

"I know. I think you need some fresh air. I'll get started on dinner after-"

"What are you making now?"

"Soup. So I can freeze it for last minute meals. Just doesn't seem romantic enough for six months," Severus added drily.

James laughed. "I think it sounds fine."

Severus smiled setting a cigarette between his lips as he moved outside, lighting the cigarette and sitting down. He inhaled, James sitting next to him, he exhaled.

"You look so glamorous when you smoke."

Severus shook his head. "No, I don't."

"Maybe like an old school movie star."

"You, my love, are so full of shit," Severus said wryly.

James touched Severus' chin, tilting his face toward his. "Beautiful." He pressed his lips against Severus'. He felt excited as Severus deepened the kiss, squashing the cigarette out on the ashtray, his hands moving to James' face. James pulled Severus onto his lap, his hands travelling the length of Severus' back.

"Fuck," Severus moaned, resting his forehead against James'.

"I hate the taste of your cigarettes."

Severus huffed out a laugh. "I'll try to quit."

"If you want."

"What were you trying to tell me inside?"

"Look, I'll fuck you in public," he said, pointing out to the street, just beyond the trees, "but what I was going to say has to be said inside."

"Okay. We'll head back inside." Once inside, he checked on the soup, before looking back at James. "Okay-"

"You want me to move in, and you... when I was drunk... and you took care of me... I asked if this was what forgiveness was, and you said-"

"That I hadn't forgiven you? That is correct."

"Is that still... is that still correct?"

"I haven't forgiven you for what you did to me. I don't know if I can."

James sighed, shaking his head.

"I think it's easy to overlook it now. You've lived a life outside of school. You've been in a relationship. You were married. You've worked a decent job. You've been an adult. I'm still stuck in the past. You've done everything that could be hoped for."

"My divorce is finalized. We can get married if you want."

"I won't marry you."

"Is this about what I've done? How can I fix this?"

"Maybe you can't."

He sighed. "You'll still date me. Ask me to move in with you. You'll let me fuck you-"

"So we don't 'make love' anymore. It's just fucking to you?"

"Let's not play semantics."

Severus sighed. "You're right," he murmured. "I find letting go of the past so hard. You weren't good to me. You turned my only friends against me. You assaulted me in front of half the school and got away with it multiple times-"

"Sev-"

"You humiliated me in the locker room by exposing me-"

"Your cock is beautiful."

"James! You didn't think that when we were at school-"

"Yes I did! I've always thought you were attractive!"

"Wait... what?"

"I didn't know how to deal with how I felt about you."

"Fucking idiot."

"I know. I know. I'm sorry."

Severus shook his head. "You're a mess."

"I know. I know. I fucked up. I was afraid. I didn't want to..."

"You didn't want to be with a man?"

He felt his face flush. "No. I didn't. Not when I was younger."

"Your friends are gay."

"I know," he whispered. "They've been together for years now. Almost ten."

"Are you embarrassed about your sexuality now?"

"No. No I'm not." He stepped forward, pulling Severus into a kiss. "I'll try for the rest of my life to make it up to you," he said softly, rubbing his nose against Severus'.

Severus touched James' face, pressing his lips against James'. "I know I'm difficult. I think moving in together will be... I think it will be good for us."

"Yeah, I think so too."

...

Severus rolled onto his side, looking at James. He wished he could move past a lot of things. He could see that James had changed. Changed a lot. He wasn't the same person he grew up knowing. This James was more submissive, subdued. He supposed it was due to the abuse he went through in his marriage.

He didn't know what James saw in him. He wasn't attractive. Maybe... just maybe, after all this time, James just felt sorry for him.

He didn't want that, but he didn't want to know either.

He supposed there would always be a seed of doubt planted in his mind. On one hand, James had matured, he was a different person. On the other hand, Severus knew what James was capable of. He knew what James used to be like.

_The two James'._

But then he was sure he had changed since school, even if he hardly saw that. But then he wasn't sure that he had. Maybe James was the better person after all.


End file.
